Super exited about the article I wrote and was and published at krautreporter magazine
The Text in English
I have recently read an article written by Marlen, a sex worker who had realized that in the past
years more and more of her clients are female. In fact, she claims in the article, 40% of her
current clients are female clients. This figure made me curious and eager to find out how would
a session, a paid sex session between two women would look like. I contacted Marlen who
invited me to take photos of one of her clients, during a session which later on turned out into a
bizarre triangle of a prostitute, a nurse, and a photographer.
Lena ( fake name ) is a nurse working with the elderly at a hospital for Alzheimer’s and
dementia patients. She spends her days taking care of others in one of the most demanding
and mentally tasking jobs in the field. Once a month, she travels to Berlin to meet Marlen for a
few hours of getting taken care for.
In my eyes, and moreover after experiencing through my lens how Marlen works, it would be an
oversimplification to describe a work as being a prostitute. What she does with her clients is
something I would rather call “ Beyond Sex”
The night before the arranged meeting of the three of us I was panicking. This was completely
new territory for me, as a photographer, and I felt that many things could go wrong. For start, I
have never been in a room where other people were engaged in sexual activity, while I am a
side observer. What if my embarrassment would be noticeable and kill the atmosphere? What if
the existence of a big camera in the room will make the client feel uncomfortable? The fears
kept cramping up. And there is the imagination. My brain had to constantly fight the need to
fantasize and create expectations from the upcoming event. Eventually, nothing had prepared
me for what would happen the next day, and it was surpassing anything I could have imagined
ahead.
The meeting took place in Marlene’s dedicated room. It had many metal tools and all kind of
accessories required for the session. There was a bit of intimidation accompanying these
professional-looking devices that seemed so distanced from the basic idea of sex as an
encounter between two bodies.
The session started with Marlen and Lena sitting together and sharing what has been going on
in their lives since their last meeting. It was a very casual work between two friends who talked
about their families, work, and pains. I was listening and taking pictures from the side,
completely being ignored by the two women in the room. At some point, Lena turned to me and
said that in fact, she would usually dislike pictures of herself. This remark made me feel more
comfortable in the situation as if I was granted special and rare access to this woman’s secret
pleasure world.
Marlen has been working as a sex worker for the past 10 years and had become, through many
hours of training, an expert in the various mediums and techniques she uses with her clients, of
which domination is the main field of expertise. She sure knows her way around ropes, wipes,
and other specific tools. And then there was me, with my own cumbersome tools such as
lighting, tripod, and lenses. While I was figuring out how to photograph the scene without
interrupting too much, and without using flashes that will ruin the session, Marlen was
diagnosing Lena with a series of questions regarding her needs for the session.
Having treated Lena in the past she knew about her need for specific pains, through the use of
ropes, and that she usually needs to go through some steps in order to come. Every client’s
session is unique in that sense, and no session looks like the other one. This session was about
Lena’s unique body needs and it was communicated between her and Marlen in a very open way.
Walking around and taking pictures during the session, I felt surprisingly comfortable.
Everything felt safe and warm, and the two other women in the room switched between various
phases of tying up, to hugging, and embracing and sometimes they were talking or laughing,
with a gradual deeper and deeper work into the body and into the complete release of anything
that is held back or tight.
During these 3 hours, I saw Lena transforming from the assertive tough, hard-working nurse,
into a doll on a string, not moving a single muscle by herself, and being completely manipulated
and shaped in the strong and skilful hands of Marlen.
There were a few scary moments during these fascinating hours where I almost had to
intervene. One of those moments was happening after Lena’s hand turned purple from the
over-tightening of the ropes around her wrist. I stopped myself, trusting the experience of
Marlen and her expertise. Later on, Lena explained to me the medical process that causes this
phenomenon, and why it is completely safe.
When the therapy session was over, the three of us sat down and talked about it. I showed
Lena the photos I took and saw a huge smile on her face. Having been blindfolded and going
through this intensive bodywork and then seeing it through photos was a strong experience for
her and she was happy that the photos were taken. She said that while being deep into the
session she had completely forgotten about my existence in the room.
I left Marlen’s studio completely overwhelmed and my head was overflowing with images and feelings about what I have just experienced. There was something magical about it that I couldn’t put in words, and at the same time, I wanted to share it with everyone I know. When I finally showed the pictures to some of my friends, I was surprised by how difficult it was for them to even look at the pictures. Something about the photos was harsh and didn’t reflect at all the comfortable feeling I had while being there.
Or was it my friends that were too closed up to see the beauty in the interaction that was depicted in the pictures. My male friends, specifically, had to turn their heads away from them, as if it was from a strange world they didn’t belong in. My female friends kept saying how brave Lena must be for exposing her body in such a way, completely ignoring the sexually fulfilled body that was shown in the pictures.
Watching Marlene get dressed after working hard for 3 hours of pleasuring and fulfilling her client’s needs, I saw her body shining from sweat and as she was folding and arranging her equipment I thought that she is a nurse as well, taking care of tired bodies and feeding them with such needed touch, intimacy, and attention. If we are willing to pay for someone to talk to about our feelings and thoughts, why should we feel shame for paying someone to touch us? I don’t have an answer for that, but I know that I have seen something that is beyond just sex.